I’m not a particularly demonstrative man, but I distinctly remember returning from work after teaching my classes on December 14, 2012, when I pulled over on the side of the road and cried.

The news on the radio had shaken me deeply, both as an educator, as an American and, above all, as a human being. That day, 26 people were shot, including 20 children between the ages of 6 and 7 at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, CT.

A psychopathic young man with access to a semi-automatic assault rifle mowed down a class of kids, and I remember thinking that must be the breaking point of this country’s sickly, salacious obsession with guns. fire. What some perceive as inexorable rights granted by the Second Amendment would ultimately be honored by responsible gun laws and reasonable restrictions. As a nation, we cannot allow this to continue.

I was wrong.

So here we are again. Another psychopathic young man with access to a semi-automatic assault rifle opened fire at Robb Elementary School in Uvalde, Texas last month, and we are collectively scratching our heads again and errantly distributing blame. .

It’s mental health. It’s school security. It’s the media.

No. These are the weapons. We are far from the only country in the world with people with mental health issues, and we are far from the only country with violent media. What sets America apart is the fact that psychopathic young men have access to semi-automatic assault rifles designed to create mass carnage.

I’ve spent my entire professional career — over two decades now — teaching public high schools, and I’m confused. I was teaching in North Las Vegas in 1999 when two psychopathic young men with access to semi-automatic assault rifles – among other weapons and pipe bombs – killed 15 people at Columbine High School in Colorado.

A week later, our school was evacuated and more than 2,500 students and staff stood in the desert sun for nearly three hours after threats were made online, smoke bombs went off in the bathrooms and fire alarms were triggered.

Throughout my career, I’ve done countless trainings, including drills where people walk through our classrooms firing Nerf guns to replicate live fire, so that we teachers trained to administer lessons , let’s know what to do if a psychopathic young man with access to a semi-automatic assault rifle walks into our school.

Although the truth is that training teachers – or arming ourselves, as some have suggested – is not the solution, nor does it solve the real problem.

Like every one of my colleagues in the profession, I mentally thought about what I might do if a psychopathic young man with access to a semi-automatic assault rifle walked into my class.

My answer is, unfortunately, not much. I would try to evacuate and protect my students, but when civilians carry firearms capable of dismembering an adult, the odds are stacked against us.

Teachers have been collectively pissed off after tracking the pandemic. We’ve been blamed for administrative decisions about remote learning and mask policies, accused of professional latitude, and belittled in public forums.

To no one’s surprise – and to the delight of the alt-right – our nation now faces a severe teacher shortage.

And who can blame young people for not wanting to enter the profession?

Young people will take on insurmountable college loan debt for marginal pay in a work environment where a psychopathic young man with access to a semi-automatic assault rifle could walk into their classroom and tape them and their students because some GOP senators — bought and sold by the NRA — continue to defy the will of the vast majority of Americans to pass sensible gun laws.

It’s not exactly a compelling pitch to go into the field.

I wish I could say that I also cried when I learned of the tragedy of Uvalde. But I did not do it. I have become somewhat hardened and desensitized to the real fact that in the United States of America our classrooms have become combat zones.

And, quite frankly, something has to give.

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